Shopping?!!

So today after work I went shopping for my sister's birthday present. I knew exactly what I wanted so when I got there it wasn't very hard. Once I'd finally caught the attention of one of the sales assistant, she started to tell me more about what I wanted but my eyes started to water from lack of sleep and from staring too much at all the shiny things in the store. Luckily, she was called away to take out trash or something because I saw her a few minutes later carrying bundles of plastic and telling me that she'd be right back. I felt bad. I kept waiting until my eyes stopped watering and returned back to normal and then realised I didn't want her to rush because I felt bad - what if she thought I was annoying? Or inconvenient? What if she thought my outfit was ugly? Or my face was too oily? Or my breath stank? I'd been working for eight hours before then so I wouldn't be surprised. But I wasn't deterred. So I kept waiting.

She finally came back and I got what I wanted and came to the register where I started trying to make conversation because I didn't want it to be awkward. The thing is, I get tongue-tied when I'm nervous. Like, really tongue-tied. So I pretty much slobbered my way out of the store and tried to walk off feeling confident about my purchase and my day. 

I decided to opt for some shopping therapy so I made my way down to the little stores on the bottom level that sell random clothes and browsed my way through them carefully avoiding the shop assistants. There's this particular little store/area that I had always wanted to check out but the shopping assistant was too within visual vicinity for me so I generally avoided it but this time I went straight in .... and got engaged in a conversation!

The anxiety was so real! I could hear myself trying to make myself understood and it sounded cringe-worthy and kind of pathetic. But the girl was actually so nice. She talked to me in the same kind of awkward level (or so I thought) as I did and we ended up talking about a lot of things. She helped me judge about five different outfits as I tried them on and we came to a good conclusion about our body types and what we thought about ourselves. 

She told me about how she genuinely wanted to help people pick out clothes and that people judge her for being overly helpful because they think she wants to sell them something. I was kind of thinking, "Is this some kind of reverse psychology to get me to buy something?" but realised I was being too cynical. And then I told her how forgetful I was when she asked if I wanted to pay with card or cash (to which I replied cash having lost my card for over 2 weeks now) and we had a mini D'n'M. I felt grateful and a little sad when I left.

I went to walk into another store somewhere further down from that store and the whole time inside I just thought she'd appear and be all offended or sad or angry that I bought something from her store just to look for something else in another store. I felt so bad. I think this anxiety with store assistant sales-people is getting a little out of hand.

In conclusion, I like shopping on my own.

P.s. This is the top I bought.

DIY Armour (not mine)

For Halloween (when it was Halloween), I decided to make my own costume because I saw a cool DIY on youtube from an amazing artist that I follow and she makes everything look super easy. So when I saw the way she made armour I thought it was just the shiz and wondered if I would try it for fun one day. That day never came until Halloween this year when I realised I should probably not wear my dollar shop witch costume for age 11+ two years in a row (though I don't think it was in a row) ((still, I took a lot of photos with it)). I decided to go online to look for something. But it was all pretty expensive. So I took all that for an excuse to finally make myself some armour so I would look all badass and that.

So my sister helped me with the first two steps and I stayed up a bit longer trying to finish it. I reckon if you set an entire day to making the costume, provided you had everything you needed, you would probably finish it in a day. The most time consuming would probably be cutting up the pieces for the armour. This is what it eventually looked like before spray paint.

And this is what it looked after spray paint.

It was pretty easy to make and after wearing it to the Halloween party, I'd say it was more endurable than it felt with only minimal damage. It also looked tough (or uncomfortable) enough to stop random people from wanting to dance too close (also it wasn't very sexy and revealing) so if you're looking for a fun dress-up or cosplay idea that's not too out there but looks cool anyway, this is something you should definitely try out. For an awesome effect, get all your friends to make one for themselves and then go out like an entire battalion! 

The artist really is amazingly creative and inspiring. She makes a bunch of DIY stuff as well as artistic designs, music, writing (she's written a book) and she also makes some really cool makeup tutorials. If you're interested in following, here is a link to her website:

http://www.klairedelys.com/

And this is the link for the costume:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wDv1e7TkNi4

Enjoy!

The Friendship Crew

This amuses me endlessly. It also makes me a little sad.

This is a little insight into the unique creativity of my friend's mind. Sometimes I look at it and think I'm a mother looking at her 5 year old son's doodles and wonder at how innocent and naive he is, hoping he would stay that way forever. This is a representation of a group of friends and I who were once very close but have drifted apart over time. It's cute but the unknown reasons why I'm on a cross boggles me.

Personal Statement (not my own)

I feel like I hardly ever see or talk to my brother anymore just because we each have our own thing to do and I've got my stuff and he's got his so when I do talk to him it's like a three hour conversation on things we've missed in our lives about each other for the past year. And that's just what happened.

I know that he enjoys making youtube videos for fun and he's a rather creative kid but I didn't think he'd do so many extra-curricular activities to showcase or develop this. Apparently he received an invitation to a digital film-making distinction course? It was such a pleasant surprise! But what I thought was really lovely was the personal statement he'd written for the course.

Here it is:

Personal Statement

As a film enthusiast, I find myself having this subconscious passion for screen and media and integrate myself into all things film related. You know how the saying goes: “If life gives you lemons, you make lemonade.” I would probably be the weird guy filming the lemonade stand from a distance.

Picking up a camera at a young age, I found myself associated into the digital world of film making through YouTube stars such as Nigahiga and MyChonny. Acquiring aid from my cousins, we soon started our own small channel where we would post our short skits that we would make every family gathering. Each video was an improvement of the last, utilising newfound techniques and learning from our previous mistakes.

Our editing software began with the very first version of Windows Movie Maker (I am not ashamed to say) and from there we progressed to iMovie, Final Cut and eventually Sony Vegas.

As we grew older, we found that we wanted MORE from our skits. 3 minutes became 6 minutes. Skits became stories. Children became teenagers. Hence we created a new channel where we could start anew and produce short films that we could be proud of. Along the way, we worked with multiple mediums such as gaming and tutorial videos in which we experimented with making machinimas and also engaged more closely with our audience.

Once the gaming channel passed on, we created our latest short film channel and have since been uploading videos. These films have all given us an experience both hands on and psychologically as some were never finished due to unforeseen circumstances. As high school and HSC took its toll on my older cousins, we found ourselves producing less and less videos and eventually hitting rock bottom with nothing.

However, I believe we are reaching the third stage of our filming development and all it will take is a push – a push that I am certain this course will give me.

I may not have the steadiest hands or the most creative editing but I have the determination and heart to follow this passion through the course of my life and this opportunity will not only contribute to my development as a film maker but as a human being as a whole.

Yours sincerely,

My brother.

The Bird

Dear you,

Flips the bird.

Sincerely,
Me.

Book Review: The Engagement by Chloe Hooper

This is by no means a critical reading or legitimate review of Chloe Hooper's novel and my response should not be a final judgement of the novel nor should it dictate anybody's own response. Death of the author and all that jazz.

So I'm writing this book review because I thought it was interesting to read book reviews and also I'm procrastinating from writing an essay about this book anyway so let's procrastinate productively.

The Engagement is basically about an English woman named Liese who is a real estate agent sunk in modern debt, that is, credit card bills from material things that so easily pull women into debt. So the first thing I noticed is how weird her name is because I pronounced it in my head like Lie-eese or Lie-eez but I found out later (near the end of the novel) that it was actually "Lee-ease". Maybe Hooper didn't want you to feel close to the character by displacing her name like that or maybe she wanted to choose some unique name for her heroine but I have another theory for that that I'll explain later. Anyway, she gets into a sexual affair with one of her clients (and I believe he is her only client in the novel) ((does that mean she's a bad real estate agent?)) and feeling like it's the right thing to do, he pays her for her services every time they fool around in someone's home and of course she does not object because she sees this as an opportunity to pay off her debts and enjoy it.

When Liese feels that she wants to end this relationship and leave the country to go back home because she is scared they'll be found out, Alexander (the guy) invites her to his Victorian mansion somewhere far out in the Australian outback where his family have made their fortune in the sheep industry. Things become eerie really quickly and there is a strong sense of dislocation, isolation and claustrophobia as Alexander physically and mentally traps her in an engagement which would free her of all her debt, give her a clean start to her new life as a farmer's wife, living in a large mansion and basically it's like a fairytale ending. But there's that really strange feeling and everything is just not quite right as you read from the perspective of Liese.

I'm trying not to spoil anything but it's really hard not to when there's so much to talk about.

Basically, her whole sense of identity is warped and you're driven further and further into a mystery involving debasing letters about her. In the end you're sitting there thinking, who is Alexander and who is Liese and who is real and who is delusional?

It is definitely a chilling read for those who like the gothic genre and is not as erotic as people might think because the sex scenes were made to be very bad on purpose. Like a realistic version of 50 Shades. Anyway, I was going to get back to her name. Her name feels like a play on words - specifically the word "lies". You never really know if she's true by the end so I figured that her name could be literally her whole identity. You don't know if she's a lie or if she was just being fed lies the whole time. Hooper just packed the whole story up quickly and while your head is still reeling she ends it and goes 'make of it what you will'. That's the amateur analysis of it.

Other from that, it was pretty enjoyable because it kept you guessing the whole way but you also enjoyed the thrill it gave you with the setting and the character of Alexander. He is almost always handling raw meat and innards in a very visual and disturbing manner and really has no problem talking about it or doing it. You also feel like you're losing your mind just as Liese does so that's also very unsettling.

And you can also read it in one sitting which is nice and neat.

Hello Again

Wow. It's been a while since I've blogged about stuff. Come to think about it, I've stopped writing in my diary too and started taking less photos trying to document my life. I don't know if it's gotten busier or if I'm just not bothered actually. But, its been a while since my last post so why not just humour myself (I like talking about myself).

I never started that cross-stitching project. But I think I'll do it before the end of this year because my pattern is just sitting inside my drawer and it looks too pretty to just neglect like that.

Also, I should be writing my essay right now but I'd rather do anything other than that like sit here on my bed and write my annual blog post about eventful things in my year (not that it's over yet). I learned to drive and got my first designer brand handbag and I don't know if this is a thing but I feel like it's some sort of rite of passage to adulthood especially for girls. Other than that not much has happened and I really don't know what to blog about that's interesting. I think it's the pressure of it being online and the possibility of having it read because I still don't know how to set this thing on private or even if I want it on private - my blogs are as confusing as my mind. I have not improved since last year.

Anywho, I was rereading my diary from 2013 actually and found it hilariously embarrassing perhaps because I wrote "anywho" a lot and yeah I wrote it again just now because I just remembered that. Of the embarrassing stories I wrote, 99% of them was based on one particular person who I won't mention here but I do wonder the effect people have on your state of mind and even on your mental health even when you don't realise it. This post continues to be more serious than I mean it to be so I'm just going to stop here and carry on next time.

By the way, I don't find sweetened chilled chrysanthemum tea as enjoyable as I did when I was a kid.